Juniper is a self confessed (or possibly self aggrandising) nom deplume, with a keen interest in fencing that far outweighs her skill in the sport. But if at first one does not succeed, one should hammer away at it until success looks proper roughed up and will concede the point! (unless one is skydiving.....if one at first one does not succeed at skydiving, and can walk away, it is highly recommended that one does so posthaste!)
The trope of the chameleon character is as old as the oldest oldness in Old-onia. The idea that one begins as an ugly duckling, goes through a series of character building experiences and/or makeovers (usually established with a visual montage), and is then revealed at the end as a god or goddess of hotness upon the earth.
It’s a standard trope, a much used one; perhaps because it rings true with teen experience, or desire.
Either way, the subject is irrevocably changed, and can no longer exist as its former self if it wants to take advantage of its “new hotness” as Agent J would say.
And then…..then there are those who possess the ability to not only exist as their former selves, but also as their “new hotness”, and vacillate between the two as circumstance and desire dictate. Those who possess a facultative quality, a hotness that is capable of, but not restricted to existing within a single set of circumstances; or occurs optionally in response to circumstances rather than by nature. Who can walk like super-models, yet fight like thugs.
To that End:
Gu Bon Gil, 25, World #1
Kim Jung Hwan, 31, World #2
Men’s Sabre, Korea.
In an age of prolific visual stimuli, from selfies to snapchat, high end to low res, it was only a matter of time until Evidence Based Hotness Theory came to discussing the state of being photogenic. To define: A subject is photogenic if appearing aesthetically attractive or appealing in photographs.
The state of being photogenic may or may not be related to one’s physical attractiveness in real life. Models are usually described as photogenic. The bone structure of their faces may represent something that is not generally pretty, but when photographed, their features can turn into something that is physically attractive.
However, attractive people are not always photogenic, in that part of their attractiveness may be due to charisma. The way they move, express, carry themselves. While this will positively influence the subjective appearance of that person in real life, a still photograph generally fails to reproduce these attributes, possibly contributing to classify that person as less photogenic.
And then we come up against someone who bucks both trends in being both photogenic and charismatic. It could be posited that these people emit a light of their own, a phosphorescence of hotness in the physical and subjective plane. A photogenesis, if you will. No matter which way you see them, speak with them, observe them, there is not an iteration of them which does not appear to be hot.
Offered without further comment*:
Szilágyi Áron, 24, Men’s Sabre, Hungary
*obviously that’s just a turn of phase. I am always going to have comments
In the land of Evidence Based Hotness Theory, it’s mostly always sunshine and lollipops (and daybeds and erlenmeyer flasks…..what?!?!) I mean, how could it not be? We are doing ground breaking research in to the science of hotness (SCIENCE!!!), we are on the cutting edge of theoretical exploration in this area, and may be the only scientists in the world applying this theory to Fencers. We have peer review (true) and government grants!(possibly untrue). It is an exciting time to be alive! It’s also an exciting time to be saying “forsooth!!”, but we try and do that all the time, so we shan’t focus on that today.
So what is happening today in this magical, magical land of science? Well………
Alejandra Benitez Romero, 34, Women’s Sabre , Venezuelan Minister for Sport
World Championships. They came, they saw, many kicked ass and some took names. But now a bevvy of the worlds best sabreurs are headed home (and with pretty much mandatory interesting flight connections, they might get there next week). Some come away be-medalled, some beaming with pride, others bemoaning their luck (and possibly some bedazzled….hey, what happens at World Champs stays at World Champs). Crowns have been passed on to new recipients, and their time in the sun has just begun. All hail the glorious victors!
I for one welcome our new Sabreur Overlords, but they might have a fight on their hands securing the best rooms at the fancy World Champions Palace of Victorious Victory (this is a real place, I didn’t just make it up), since the only Wold Champ to defend her title, already has dibs on the 206sqm penthouse apartment with elevator, dining-room, living room, gym, kitchen and bakery overlooking a private garden, three bedrooms with dressing rooms, secluded balconies, and luxury bathroom ensuites (everyone else has to fight over the remaining high end three bedroom apartments that don’t come with bakeries or private gardens) And seriously, after watching her bouts, you don’t want to argue with this lady. Not at all.
Olga Kharlan, 23, Ukraine, Women’s Individual Sabre World Champion 2013 & 2014
It has often been commented that Italians know fashion. I’m sure we can postulate that everyone knows fashion, if in some cases it is simply to avoid being fashionable (intentionally or unintentionally as the case may be). But it appears to be a globally accepted meme that Italians do it better than most.
Whilst fencing whites create an air of athleticism, dignity and danger/mystery to the sabreur (ok, that last one may be apocryphal), I believe we can all agree, that in terms of what socially normalised ideas of Fashion are, they don’t really cut the (insert noun here as long as it’s not cheese). So what happens to hot fencers in dubiously fashionable fencing garb when they step from that world in to the world of the beau monde?
Worry not, intrepid seekers of knowledge, data and EBH enlightenment! The last two weeks have involved intense research into various applications of EBH Theory to aspects of the fencing world.
We have been busy formulating a number of hypotheses, including one exploring practical application of external formalisation to the physiognomy of the Sabreur and how this can be interpreted through the application of EBH Theory.
Watch this space…watch it…continue watching it…until I come back.
Way back in the day when we were young and there was a war on, and things were different (okay, mostly last weekend… probably more last week if truth be told) there was a percolation of synapses, endorphins, Hibiki and general brain chemistry that led to a Tesla-grade lightbulb-moment of creation; and the Theory of Evidence Based Hotness (EBH), particularly in its application towards competitive and professional athletes, was born. Generally, EBH can be studied from a number of perspectives, including universal perceptions common to all human cultures, cultural and social aspects, and individual subjective preferences. Some physical features are attractive in both men and women, although one contrary report suggests that “absolute flawlessness” with perfect symmetry can be “disturbing”. There are also numerous factors based on gender, as to the application and evaluation of EBH.* So where is this all leading, and how can it possibly be relevant to this blog? Well, I believe the time has come to apply EBH theory on a test group of select athletes; namely Sabreurs…..OK Chit chat over, Hot Sabreur Alert:
Daryl Homer, 23. Mens Sabre, USA
Current US ranking – #1
Current World Ranking: #12
2012 Olympic Games Placing: 6th
What Sells it: The awesome skilz, the socks and the smile
On a scale of Hot to Epic, Homer is pretty damn Volcanic (and I dare you not to try and come up with a reason to touch his thighs!!)
*most of this post may have been gratuitously lifted from Wikipedia (hey, if I can’t use Wiki as a reference in an academic paper, it’s perfectly salient to filch from it now), and a little bit of flim flam. This is un-apologetically an excuse to talk about hot athletes, semi-nekkid (rated M), clothed, in action, male or female. I do not choose images that undermine the athletes’ agency, dignity or strength, and I do not present a homogeneous glom of athletes who all fit a cookie cutter mold of “hotness”.